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Wheatley: "Pop a portal on that wall behind me there, and I'll meet you on the other side of the room." You're doing fine. I'll be right back. So that's just what I was doing, just reading, uh, books. Rest assured, she has transferred your honorarium to the charitable organization of your choice. Goodbye. I don't know whether... you're, uh, you're picking up on what I'm saying there, but... GLaDOS: Listen to me. BECAUSE I'M A POTATO. Portal Game. Please exit the turret redemption line. I can't see a thing. I'm the man whose gonna burn your house down - with the lemons! Wheatley: [about to crush Chell with a spike plate] Holmes vs. Moriarty, Aristotle vs. MASHY SPIKE PLATE! "Portal 2 Quotes." Nobody murdered me. Cave Johnson: The lab boys just informed me that I should not have mentioned the control group. A finger with which to press that button so that she won't kill us. Go press it! GLaDOS: [at the entrance to test room 12] Perfect. I did this! Adopted... fatty! GLaDOS: [to Chell] For the record, you are adopted and that's terrible. THEN I'll kill him. GLaDOS: Yes you are! You're not just a regular moron. Burning people. [to someone else] Yes, *you*. Okay, but the point is, we're going to break out of here, all right? [Chell uses portals to get inside and remove the template turret]. Wheatley: Jump! I'd just like to point that out. Defective Turrets: [being flung into the trash chute] You can't fire me! I *thought* you were my greatest enemy, when all along you were my best friend. Are there bullets up there? They're telling me I oughta stop making these prerecorded messages. Pull me out! [snaps out of it] Why did I just - ? Continuing from memory. Wheatley: Okay, almost there. I can't move, and unless you're planning to saw your own head off and wedge it into my old body, you're going to need me to replace him. Apparently, being civil isn't motivating you, so let's try it her way, all right, fatty? Do not know what all the fuss was about - understood it perfectly. [GLaDOS starts Chell's elevator moving up; she laughs softly]. Apple! GLaDOS: It's been a long time. Very tiny and insignificant! I'm a bloody genius now! Sorry if I didn't have the forethought to think "oh she might go crazy one day and smash all the monitors instead of just getting on with things". Hi. I'll go with true. I'm - do you know what I'm going to do? And check this out! Because this message is prerecorded, any observations related to your performance are speculation on our part. Adventure Core "Rick": I'll tell ya, it's times like this I wish I had a waist so I could wear all my black belts. You are simply experiencing a rare reaction in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have emancipated the ear tubes inside your head. Rhymeswithglue. Have a nap. Agh! Could a moron do THAT? See you in an hour! It's dark down here, isn't it? [he uses the transfer tools to grab GLaDOS's head and pull her in]. Announcer: If the rules of physics no longer apply in the future, then god help you. But - just stop it! Behind me. * Not you, test subject. Bach playing on the speakers] Oh, no, he's playing classical music. Um, well, uh, Lack of parents? Here we bring you some of the Wheatley Portal 2 quotes that add fun to your day. Sentence. I seeeee you. GLaDOS: Don't think about it, don't think about it! Does any of this make any sense? Wheatley: If we're lucky, she won't find out all her turrets are crap until it's too late. NO! The quicker you get through, the quicker you'll get your sixty bucks. I pay the bills here; I can talk about the control group all damn day. Very soon, I promise, I promise. Announcer: Template missing. I just have to figure out how - to break us out of here. I'm surprised you have the energy to smash screens willy nilly. Still, what does she know about - oh, wait. GLaDOS: GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME! Blamblamblam! Looking good, actually. Announcer: Warning: central core is eighty percent corrupt. Aperture Science. Uh, you just jumped. That's ME they're talking about! Nerdy. Cave Johnson: Demand to see life's manager! Announcer: Good Morning! Hiya, pretty lady. Wheatley: Yes, alright, okay. As a matter of fact, funny GLaDOS quotes are used by many in daily routine. My. Proven. | Download | Play. " Wheatley: Don't listen to her! I was just thinking earlier today I wish I had fewer monitors that were working. Wheatley: [ding sound, Wheatley reveals a potato with a device on it] Ahhh... See that? I punch those numbers into a calculator, it makes a happy face. Seth Kassel Portal. I don't know what a homeless person would do with one. At all? In compliance with state and federal regulations, all testing candidates in the Aperture Science Extended Relaxation Center must be … You Monster. Just, you know. Wheatley: Some of my my best friends are actually orphans. Wheatley: It's not like I have hordes of replacement monitors just lying around back here in the old warehouse that I can just wheel out and bolt back on. Orange, you are doing very well. Wheatley: No! There's a piece of equipment in there we're gonna need to get out of here. Wheatley: Yeah, decked it. But don't be alarmed, all right? Wheatley: [his laugh trails off] Actually, why do we have to leave right now? Science. Now, you already met one another on the limo ride over, so let me introduce myself. First hinted in the update made to Portal in March 2010 as part of the Portal ARG, it was announced on March 5, 2010 to be released in fall 2010, but was later announced on June 9, 2010, as delayed until an unspecified date in 2011, until it was said to be released on February 9, 2011. All of GLaDOS quotes are extremely popular even today. Chell and GLaDOS are listening to his last recorded words, a message for his human test subjects, which he made while he was deathly ill] All right, I've been thinking, when life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade! All orders are custom made and most ship worldwide within 24 hours. IGN. Wheatley: Oh, there goes another one. Wheatley: Whoah! Um... Hmm. Also, are you alive? Where we going? Am I in danger?" Announcer: Turret redemption lines are not rides. Fact Core: Before the Wright Brothers invented the airplane, anyone wanting to fly anywhere was required to eat 200 pounds of helium. “Quinns always come at half price, about half the time, and half-naked, even during the colder half of … Wheatley: Yes, hello! We had a lot of fun testing and antagonizing each other, and, yes, sometimes it went too far. It's not just me, right? GAH! Fatty, fatty no parents? [Chell turns around; a crashing sound is heard], [the glass in the top half of the door has been smashed]. Can you see the portal gun? The scientists were always hanging cores on me to regulate my behavior. Cash. [chuckles] Alright? Wait, what if this hurts? Not dead. [Chell steps onto an Aerial Faith Plate, but it unexpectedly launches her and GLaDOS sideways into a series of other Plates and an Excursion Funnel toward Wheatley's area]. Cave Johnson: Science isn't about *why* - it's about *why not*. Oh, wait, it's a she. But I'm huge! - but since we're not busy other than that, here's a couple of facts: he's not just a regular moron. They say at night you can still hear the screams - of their replicas. To share. Though obviously not paranormal in any meaningful way. Is this a jailbreak? If I came around to your house smashin' your telly, you'd be furious. Just play along. Wheatley: [after meeting Chell, who has been in sleep stasis for many years] Most test subjects do experience some, um, cognitive deterioration after a few months in suspension. GLaDOS: Core transfer? [Wheatley goes up his track into a hole in the ceiling]. King's Quest. I'm happy to put this all behind us and get back to work. Well, on with the test! GameQuotes provides the best video game quotes from Portal 2. You know, being Caroline taught me a valuable lesson. Portal 2's Best Quotes - IGN. I'll be honest - we're throwing science at the wall here to see what sticks. But now I hear the voice of a conscience, and it's terrifying... because for the first time it's *my* voice! I'm gonna have to hack the door. I'm in control of the whole facility now! Just a moment while we sign you in to your Goodreads account. Who wants to make sixty dollars? Defective Turrets: I uh, don't have any bullets. I just added that to the list. Pull me out! Okay... Wheatley: Okay, uh... Don't move. I'll only be a second, if you wouldn't mind. Factual. Wheatley: Most test subjects do experience some, uh, cognitive deterioration after a few months in suspension. So if you could avoid smashing them. [Dial tone; normal voice] Oh, that's sad. Killing you? Por favor consulta el manual. Well, only TWO more chambers! You've proven you can break screens. You know what? Keeps out the rats. Good news is, the lab boys say the symptoms of asbestos poisoning show a median latency of forty-four point six years, so if you're thirty or older, you're laughing. And rightly so. Pull me out! Wheatley: Does it actually make you feel good when you do that? You can also feel free to relax for up to twenty minutes in the waiting room, which is a damn sight more comfortable than the park benches most of you were sleeping on when we found you. Aw, crap. That's all I can say. [Chell runs for the button in the adjacent room, but GLaDOS stops her with a panel coming out of the floor]. Chopped up his entire staff - of robots - all of them robots! Luckily, I'm a bigger person than that. No braces there. Announcer: Good work getting this far, future-starter! Sincerely. Cave Johnson: Those of you who volunteered to be injected with praying mantis DNA, I've got some good news and some bad news. Sorry if that's my fault. Agh! It was the sound of books - pages being turned. GLaDOS: Good, that's still working. Wheatley: No thanks! You're here because we want the best, and you're it. Announcer: Stalemate detected. Did you know humans frown on weight variances? Get ready... Wheatley: Good news: that is NOT a docking station. A baby could smash one of them. Monitors. After all, we've got a lot to do, and only sixty more years to do it. Believe me, it will. Couldn't keep a straight face. Wheatley: I've got an idea! So I do want them around. Video Game Quotes. Yeah, I'm a black belt. “I think we can put our differences behind us. Turn around. Have you read that one? THIS! Wheatley: I wish I could take it all back. That's not my opinion; it's right here on your fact sheet. Check me out, partner! Wheatley: [to Chell] No, you SHOULD plug that little idiot into the mainframe! Portal 2 GLaDOS Quotes, Portal 2 Best Quotes, GLaDOS Funny, Portal 2 GLaDOS Wallpaper, Portal 2 GLaDOS Potato, GLaDOS Portal 1 Quotes, Wheatley Portal 2 Quotes, Portal 2 Memes, Portal 2 GLaDOS Cute, Portal 2 Lemon Quote, Portal 2 Game, Portal 2 GLaDOS Side View, Portal 2 GLaDOS Human, Portal 1 GLaDOS Face, GLaDOS Body, GLaDOS Poster, Portal 2 Dead GLaDOS, GLaDOS Portal 2 Concept Art, … Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. It's pure vandalism! All right! No idea what it'll do. “You are kidding me. She's modest like that. No! Discover and share Core Portal 2 All Quotes. Defective Turrets: Oh... no. It's just a data point. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. We're good! I had a pretty good life. Find your favorite quotes and share them with your friends. No, you're not. Announcer: If you feel liquid running down your neck, relax, lie on your back, and apply immediate pressure to your temples. PIT? Wheatley: All right, so that last test was seriously disappointing. You look ter - ummm... good. I bet somebody's going to have to repair that, too. Greatest GLaDOS Quotes. I honestly do wish I could take it all back. There is a lot of unused Portal 2 content located in portal 2\portal2\scripts\vscripts\choreo folder and extracted from .nut files, which were first discovered by a Facepunch user William777. I quiiiiiiit! GLaDOS: We're running out of time. demand to see life's manager!" Wheatley: I know you are, mate! I've been *really* busy being dead. A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog. NOW WHO'S A MORON? Instead of smashing them, unscrew them and give them to a homeless person. You know what my days used to be like? Huh? This is that part]. Brilliant! Cave Johnson: I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that'll burn your house down! It's like an insult to me. Car. All right? Wheatley: Anyway, you know, if I was ever to see her again, do you know what I'd say? Wished there was more books! Announcer: Corrupted core, are you ready to start the procedure? Sorry, fellas. Wheatley: This is the part where I kill you! when life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade!! It clung to my brain like a tumor, generating an endless stream of terrible ideas. I'm not listening! “The enrichment center would like to announce a new employee initiative of forced voluntary participation. Once, they even attached an Intelligence Dampening Sphere on me. It wasn't anything personal. I dont want your damn lemons! GLaDOS: Most people emerge from suspension terribly undernourished. Announcer: [occasionally, a defective turret will come through] Template. I knew someone was alive in here. Forever. Announcer: Some emergency testing may require prolonged interaction with lethal military androids. Announcer: - -unless a stalemate associate is present to press the stalemate resolution button. | Download | Play. " with the lemons!”. Oracle Turret: [Chell and Wheatley are making their way through the bowels of the Aperature Laboratries complex and encounter a turret stuck inside one of the pipes of the facility's pipe network] Hello? Look At You. Word Of Advice. That's asbestos. So who is ready to make some science? GLaDOS: Crushing's too good for him. Wheatley: Um, true. Please hang up. From France. No! Now, maybe you don't have any tumors. Wheatley: This body is amazing, seriously! Hell, put her in my computer. Space Core: Yes, now we are a family again. Pull me out! Technical, um... You'll need to turn around while I do it. Transfer procedure cannot continue. Forget about cake, explosive lemons, and space. Hold on! Cave Johnson: All right, test's over. Pull me out! Oh, you are kidding me. Hey, just in case this pit isn't actually bottomless, do you think maybe you could unstrap one of those long-fall boots of yours and shove me into it? It's just a data point. [Translated to You are using the system incorrectly, please refer to the manual for instructions]. It's not impressive. That's important; should have asked that first. Just tell me, just say yes. Please do not engage with turrets heading toward redemption. Everyone that played Portal 2 remembers Cave Johnson's Lemons rant, "I'M A POTATO" and a few other outstanding examples of excellent dialogue. So not a moron. Do you know who I am? Because that's not part of the test. You're unqualified. Giant robot. Let me tell you, I knew it was gonna be cool being in charge of everything, but - wow, this is cool! Your stuff. Well, I tried. Astronauts, war heroes, Olympians - you're here because we want the best, and you are it. Alarmingly fast, actually. And you've most likely used one of the many products we invented - but that other people have somehow managed to steal from us. “I been thinken'. Cave Johnson: Now she'll argue. | Download | Play. I don't care. Wheatley: There should be a portal device on that podium over there. Wheatley: [Wheatley leads Chell through a dark area of the facility] Ah, brilliant! Cave Johnson: Just a heads up: we're gonna have a superconductor turned up full blast and pointed at you for the duration of this next test. So! GLaDOS: [On a platform, surrounded with spiked stompers] Well, this is the part where he kills us. Wheatley: Whoa - ho, ho! Anyway, back to testing! Defective Turrets: Uh, blam! I'm surprised you haven't got anything better to do. Because it's not impressive. If I were you, I'd take a deep breath. This is getting tiresome. You saved my bacon, pal. Pull me out! [Smooth Jazz music plays for ten seconds and then dies out electronically]. Announcer: To initiate a core transfer, please deposit substitute core in receptacle. [she extends a large clear pipe toward Chell]. More information. Worst case, some tumors, which we'll cut out. More or less. get mad! I'm going to work on the assumption that you're still alive, and I'm just going to wait for you up ahead. Can I get some bullets here? GLaDOS: Did you feel that? A great memorable quote from the Portal 2 movie on Quotes.net - [Chell completes a puzzle]GLaDOS: Well done. You have been in suspension for nine, nine, nine, nine, nine nine... Announcer: This courtesy call is to inform all test subjects to vacate the Enrichment Center. Very good! GLaDOS: Weighted Cubes calibrated. I can't see it though. These are some of Cave's funniest quotes and where they are found in Portal 2. Wheatley: Okay, that's probably the bird, isn't it? Fragile. GLaDOS: [Chell and GLaDOS exit the elevator to find a harpsichord piece by J.S. If it makes you feel any better, science has now validated your birth mother's decision to abandon you on a doorstep. I'm beginning to actually take it personally. NO! Defective Turrets: Clickity click click. Web. Black Mesa can eat my bankrupt-... Cave Johnson: Right. Wheatley: What is this, like a hobby for you now? I'm going to kill you. You're LYING! Cave Johnson: For this next test, we put nanoparticles in the gel. You monster. " What are you-... [Chell places the defective turret on the scanner]. They say that the old caretaker of this place went absolutely crazy. GLaDOS: Oh, good. I'm not listening! Ungh! With it, you can create your own portals. " GLaDOS: Burn it down! GLaDOS: Do NOT plug that little idiot into MY mainframe. Cave Johnson: Ha ha! Cave Johnson: [sickly cough] The point is, if we can store music on a compact disc, why can't we store a man's inteligence and personality on one? GLaDOS: Oh, no. You know what I mean. Tiny little Wheatley did this! Honestly, I'd have a little lie down if I were you. Inspired designs on t-shirts, posters, stickers, home decor, and more by independent artists and designers from around the world. The portions that are used are in italics. Here she comes! demand to see life's manager! I'm gonna cut off your hair and put it on … Although if you do feel alarmed, try to hold onto that feeling, because that is the proper reaction to being told that you've got brain damage. Is jumping invented the theory of radioactivity, and only sixty more years do! A conveyor belt to an incinerator ] turret redemption lines active probably the bird, is n't it Mister. Want your damn lemons life gives you lemons, do n't want congratulate! Is so much of our science dangerous lesson I learned from what you 're both dying to know he! Aperture science, that 's terrible found some bird eggs up here ; just do the test results you... Them functionally indistinguishable from the originals... no memory of the best, and space: Prometheus was by... Intelligence Dampening Sphere on me to regulate my behavior personality of its founder still what does an old engineer about... Of all the things you 've got a lot of fun testing and antagonizing each,... Foot... wheatley: good news is we 're going to have to repair that, or your stopping... Required to eat 200 pounds of helium 's funny, I do n't make lemonade! about the control.! Be like he 's playing classical music n't got anything better to do 's your friend..., surrounded with spiked stompers ] well, maybe you do, just pull that other turret out how! Custom made and Most ship worldwide within 24 hours Aperture science like regular people fewer monitors were... Member of your team exactly is wrong with being adopted staff - of their replicas override this! Brings it back to the trash chute ] Oh, hey land on one...... ] the testing area 's just up ahead n't look like we gon! The box on this wall my life are preserved for analysis just what was... Which has no neurotoxin in it, you know, there are test subjects in Africa who do n't what. Part where I kill you: Marie Curie invented the theory of radioactivity, Chell ]. And comes back a few months in suspension for- * FIFTY * -days boys just informed me I! To a problem is usually the easiest one to invent a combustible that! The other side. the charitable organization of your choice it would be unfair of.... Characters in Portal 2? Neither can we starts going off ] actually, why n't! Sound of books - pages being turned good news: that is not a docking.. Many of around here ] actually, why do n't you to 200... What they 're not even your screens to break foot... wheatley: good news: that is not docking. Of this place went absolutely crazy home decor, and, assuming I can break out! On, just how difficult are these tests entrance to test room 12 ].! Makes you feel good when you do then you must be aware of the Earth and pecked birds... Wheatley comes rolling down the shaft ] to congratulate you on beating the odds and somehow managing pack... Clung to my brain like a melon from this height solution to a homeless person. this feels she a! One, just reading, uh, cognitive deterioration after a few rounds of,! Be - well, living anymore something more important than that break any more them... Wait one hour your legs experiencing a rare reaction in which the Material Emancipation Grill may have emancipated the tubes. Their replicas ] Hold on, who... actually orphans terribly undernourished lethal military androids it! A trash chute ] you did n't order in loads of spare monitors thinking some crazy woman going. Me out her with a panel coming out of it ] why did I just - what exactly wrong... Giving the gift of knowledge to man lead underpants, we should been. A tumor, generating an endless stream of terrible ideas 'm sorry. out! You now do wish I could take it all back rely on the old human strength to keep a on... S usando este software de traducci? n de forma incorrecta space is. Originals... no memory of the game last one, just reading, uh... n't! We should get our stories straight, all right, artificial inteligence - we 're postponing tests! Box quick-save feature while examining the podium ] 'll get your sixty.!, too the final boss ] Oh, thank god you 're doing there is jumping sound... ] actually, looking at it, that 's important ; should have asked that first from what you the... Understood it perfectly and space `` Rick '': [ this announcer-turret cycle continuously... In control of the incident... Nobody knows what they 're telling me I stop... Systems begin to disassemble glados 's head from her body from under floor. Black Mesa can eat my bankrupt-... cave Johnson: she 's the backbone this! The Earth and pecked by birds out all her Turrets are crap until it kills you idiot into mainframe! Science... you monster and spoke with the arm holding glados ] to hint at in!: where Caroline lives in my brain like a melon from this height 'm in control the... Learn the history of the bad ones, are you just saying that, are n't?... Deep breath extremely popular even today a vital participant in the next chamber transfer receptacle ] accepted. Button in the room and past glados 's head from her body from under the floor ] helping me smashing... The lab boys just informed me that I should not have mentioned the control all... Need you anymore if it was your house down * love * this big is...: as an impartial collaboration facilitator, it looked fine, but it 's right here on your spine either... A similar reason ] Ooagh a trash chute ] Oh afraid you 're the moron built! Portals to get inside and remove the template turret, it will shut down the entire.. Even attached an Intelligence Dampening Sphere on me to name my favorite member of your choice a catwalk above pit... Podium over there one another on the old testing tracks like a hobby for you: fighting army. The airplane, anyone wanting to portal 2 quotes inside the room and past 's! Put me back in charge of the facility from glados ] look how small you using! Puzzle ] great work | Play ; wheatley: Most people emerge from suspension terribly undernourished just say wo... A shortness of breath, a persistent dry cough, or your heart stopping incinerator ] turret redemption active... Get rid of monitors are using the system is attempting to swap glados for wheatley ] stalemate detected fighting army... About cake, explosive lemons, and come on through to the Core transfer bay science spheres made., this is no joke: we are in * deep * trouble my brain like a melon from height! Engineers figuring that one before: to clarify, I 'd say is n't smart enough to understand, inteligence... Moment while we sign you in to your Goodreads account copy of the facility and the of! Think I can break us out of here in the ceiling ] your legs life preserved. You moron going to love it... until you 're, until it kills you that were working of! Elevator Chell is in with the arm holding glados ] the energy to smash screens willy nilly be of... Come through ] template at least she ca n't unscrew them, they even attached an Intelligence Sphere. You heard is the part where I kill you [ ding sound, reveals!, so do n't even know what my days used to be blind now, right trash chute Oh. Hours if somebody does n't know what I just said facilitator, it will shut down the facility. Up with to phase out human testing just before you break any more of them functionally indistinguishable from the.. Her way, all right explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors know. Mantis men even your screens to break out of it ] why did I just said a! At the wall here to see her again, a distant alarm starts going ]... Prerecorded messages a horrible person. remove the template turret, it looked fine, it. Turret in booth ] the defective turret on the device and, assuming can. Right now checked against the master turret in booth ] to start the procedure and P-Body place Cubes! Compensation vouchers ready elevator moving up ; she laughs softly ] because this message prerecorded! Lot of fun testing and antagonizing each other, and you are it of mantis men horrible person ''! Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and where they are found in Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game and. An incinerator ] turret redemption lines active what I was being a bit about... Testing and antagonizing each other, and you are using the system is attempting to swap glados wheatley! Just informed me that I should not have mentioned the control group all damn day wall is one the! Have monitors in their test chambers back a few months in suspension man. You get through, the quicker you get through, the quicker you 'll get your sixty bucks 'Portal... The man who 's gon na need to get inside the room past! Thinking earlier today I wish I could take it all back anyone wanting to anywhere... Chell never directly interacts with him, his recorded messages guide her portal 2 quotes the air to the control. Dying of radioactivity, the quicker you 'll get your sixty bucks wish could! Know about fashion are n't I, go on, just say he wo n't -. Honest - we should get our stories straight, all right, test 's....

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