23 October 2020,
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Lately. I think about kindness and kids. My car is black. And when I break it all down, when I whittle it into a single breath, it essentially comes out like this: before I die, I want to be somebody's favorite … We all need to practice kindness, whether it be by moving a car, yikes, poor woman or just being patient behind the person at the checkout who has fifteen million coupons, and is trying to same a couple of bucks. But the biggest kindness we got to offer was to the other driver. That she should MOM better and HUMAN better. He told me there was a vendor booth at the conference with a bowl of pins so folks could note their pronouns in order to facilitate full inclusion for all attendees. It’s a little reflection of our Maker, and can do so much to awaken and lift other folks. Really, I’d say it’s all I think about anymore. And kindness and politics. No problem, though, because she was still in her seat, so I went over to her and said, “Hey — any chance you can move your car a little? About how to model it for my kids. I think if she’d had a minute to think and maybe not a hundred bajillion other things on her mind and in her heart, and if she had maybe an iced coffee and someone to remind her she’s doing enough and being enough, she’d have said it like, “I’m tired, friend. Greg wearing a “my pronouns: he/him” on his shirt. I told him what I tell my kids… it’s all going to be OK because no one died, and we can fix anything except dead. Took care of paperwork and insurance info. “Lately I've been thinking about who I want to love, and how I want to love, and why I want to love the way I want to love, and what I need to learn to love that way, and how I need to become to become the kind of love I want to be. He wore his the whole week in solidarity and to normalize sharing pronouns upon meeting new people. I’ve been thinking a lot about kindness lately. There was nothing I could do about it. About the ways I need to practice kindness to myself so I can readily give it away. And I’ve been thinking constantly about where my loyalty belongs. Thank you. When the morning comes When we see what we've become In the cold light of day we're a flame in the wind Not the fire that we've begun Every argument, every word we can't take back 'Cause with all that has happened I think that we both know the way that the story ends Made sure our people were OK. It doesn’t get much kinder than that.) My circle has responded as I expected they would…two thumbs up! I shared this post on Facebook because I think everyone in the world needs to read it. Kindness in a pin. I held onto his shoulder and asked if he was OK. Thank you, Beth Woolsey, for helping me start my day with some serenity and sanity. Happier Lyrics: Lately, I've been, I've been thinking / I want you to be happier, I want you to be happier / When the morning comes / When we see what we've become / In the cold light of day, we' About how to be kind to others even when they’re not kind to me. I just need to slip into my car.”, ”Fuck you,” she said, “I’m parked inside the lines. Better. Unfathomable. Thank you. Solidarity, momrade. I’ve been thinking a lot about kindness lately. So I said to her retreating back, “You parked inside the lines. Does it help someone vulnerable know they’re not alone? There’s nothing you can do about it.”. (and you, too, Carla, my name twin sister!). Now, nice isn’t the measuring stick. I just followed this over from FB, and started reading it and then stopped, got interrupted, but when I came back to it, I had to re-read it again. And the fact that Jesus’ shining example was refusing to kowtow to the rules-based faith of his time, turning away again and again and again and again from the religious establishment in favor of the vulnerable. Wrong. He apologized a dozen times (which they say not to do, but I think “they” are NUTS.) Now, I’m kind of horrified it ever was. It’s OK. Do what you need to do. So I’ve been thinking a lot about kindness lately. The asphalt was black. [Verse 1] I lost my mind though. I've been thinking 'bout you lately. Over and out. I’ve been thinking about the evangelical church and its unholy marriage to the Republican Party which has resulted in a baffling loyalty to Trump and defense of his brutality to the weakest among us … You know, YELL ABOUT KINDNESS at her. We did all the usual parental things. And then, in between checking on our people, I walked him through next steps… photograph our info, call your insurance, file an accident report at the DMV, BREATHE IN AND OUT, remind yourself that you’re human like the rest of us, forgive yourself for your lapse, let the insurance companies do their job, and pay the kindness forward like I got to do because someone at an accident scene that was fully my fault was once kind to me. I’ve been thinking about the evangelical church and its unholy marriage to the Republican Party which has resulted in a baffling loyalty to Trump and defense of his brutality to the weakest among us — children and asylum seekers. I lost my mind where all the lonely, lonely hearts go. And lately, it's been hard to see the way you used to be And I wonder, if the words I don't say Can make it okay But I've been thinking bout us And I know that the going is rough And it feels like a little too much Maybe I don't say it enough So listen Girl you know you're beautiful Really, I’d say it’s all I think about anymore. And I thought about it a lot on Friday night when my oldest kid and her boyfriend and my middle kid were in a car accident. Really, I’d say it’s all I think about anymore. Fiercer. Does it shelter the weak? When I was exhausted and overwhelmed. Best to you! Kindness and cages. I used to believe the old adage “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all,” and so, in the face of injustice, I was quiet. I think kindness is on the move. And he was also kind of lost. As I grabbed the cart to put it away, a woman pulled into the spot next to me, and I realized, walking back, that she was parked so close it would be impossible to open my door and slide into my seat without hitting her car. Hit from behind. Kindness and self. The interior is black. There’s power in choosing kindness — maybe even more so when it’s not the obvious choice — and there’s power in letting mean words go even though that’s hard because we’re better at dwelling on them. But you can dent my car. And kindness and cages. And I think you are, too. Shook up pretty good — physically and emotionally — and still dealing with the fallout. She hopped out of her car, got her two kids out, and walked toward the store. Through a stroke of luck, Greg and I were nearby and able to be there a few minutes after it happened. Lately, oh. There are times in my life when my marriage was in the crapper and my mental health was in rapid decline and my children were young and incessantly needed everything, and moving my car after I managed to park it would’ve felt IMPOSSIBLE. I was “polite.” I was “civil.” And I was, as a result, actively supporting the oppressors and harming the oppressed. Kindness and politics. I’ve been thinking about my words and how I use them and how critically important it is to champion compassion over cruel power paradigms, which is kind even if it’s not always nice.

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