what doesn't kill you makes you stronger

Trauma has become a concept that is too-readily applied and bandied about and the resulting diagnoses and treatments can be 'traumatising' in and of themselves. As expected, it was found that people with a moderate aptitude for psychological adjustment were the most likely to show signs of PTG while those with difficulty adapting exhibited less. a similar principal to the muscle analogy. I think being more vulnerable matters more. I totally agree that suffering is a mind thing. And sometimes that which does not kill us just leaves us bedridden or housebound for years — and I would not wish that on anyone (even as I acknowledge that previous unknown strengths may be uncovered.”, “Like other schlocky pithy sayings, I find it unhelpful, especially when lobbed at people who are experiencing difficulty. It soothed me :))) I agree with Chris and Debbie too. I would also agree that, if you are willing to face any situation head on, “turn into the pain” as Pema Chodron advises, and look at it from every angle, all suffering is eliminated. The hunt is not supposed to be easy. My only gripe about your post is that you cited something from Satoshi Kanazawa. But the bulk of psychological research on the topic shows that, as a rule, if you are stronger after hardship, it is probably despite, not because of the hardship. A lot of emotional frailty leads back to parental oversheltering and lack of punishment or over-punishment at home (see "Nation of Wimps" on this site). “I ought to be singing that song, right?! Let’s be honest it wasn’t a big deal but, as an impressionable child, that episode helped instill in me a lifetime fear of poverty and homelessness. I even started a blog (http://www.sisterbetrayal.com) to accomplish this introspection and share my thoughts and experiences with others. I agree that the quote is not always true. I could see that the rotting branch was probably not going to hold his weight. “Becoming stronger is dependent upon a lot. It’s horrible and needs to be stopped so you can rationalize suffering and tragedy or you can do something to prevent and stop it from happening in the first place. Is that conclusion not completely in contradiction to his initial point? The drugs are problematic enough but leading the mind down the labyrinthine paths of distorted childhood memories and negative life experiences can become an unremitting nightmare. After decades of depression, a serious suicide attempt and resulting brain injury, I not only survived, but went on to thrive by discovering the super power we all have to build a better brain and joyful life. This level- almost at a hospice level ..yet it’s never ending- it’s rinse & repeat for us every day!! It’s not that I don’t have any troubles anymore – far from it, but they don’t traumatize me, hijack my life and steal my peace of mind like they used to. Of course, sometimes we do emerge stronger — but then again, we can also become stronger by being well loved and experiencing joy. And yes, clearly, parents are important to children. Not give up. It does say that PTG is the outcome of some not every person. The Holmes-Rahe Scale highlights the various events that may arrive unpredictably or by design. www.opti-mystical.com. The good news is that people are anti-fragile. Severe parental abuse and neglect can indeed disturb personality development fundamentally, particularly for certain children who are already vulnerable temperamentally (genetically). How do i know i was over or under punished? What does that have to do with the price of fish? If adults model resilient responses, children are more inclined to emulate those qualities, making them better able to. Thank you, I think I'm just about to understand :) It seems to me, that it is far more relevant how this sensitization works in conjunction with other brain activity (such as problem solving, executive function, or fight-flight response) that may be more indicative of a person's ability to remain resilient in the face of difficulty (an indicator of over all strength and adaptation) rather than a generalized susceptibility to trauma. And then there are a lot of people who succumb to depression because of circumstances in their lives and that doesn’t make them lesser. I really feel for them too! http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/arh21-3/247.pdf, And here: Jangother: The dog anecdote was used to illustrate the point in an interesting, creative way, not to prove the point. i.e. An important part of growing up is realising that even the noblest of intentions can become harmful when taken to extremes. Acceptance and surrendering, in my opinion, mean allowing that the circumstances are what they are right now and consciously evaluating the information and your intuition to move forward. I thought for a moment this part of your article sounded a little questionable, so I followed the link. What you do when you are dying is what makes you stronger. And then there are a lot of people who succumb to depression because of circumstances in their lives and that doesn’t make them lesser. Muscle tear--trauma, etc. It helps people create a sense of stability, bond with caregivers, communicate needs and emotions, regulate themselves, and feel a higher level of self-worth. The 1982 movie Conan the Barbarian notably opens with That which does not kill us makes us stronger and attributes it to Nietzsche, if slightly misquoted. I know. It would be no fun to be stuck working my whole life in minimum wage jobs but those jobs grounded me and prepared me for the real world. I had never heard those details. Get information and inspiration on how to have your best brain and life delivered to your inbox. There’s nothing like an early taste of poverty for instilling a lifelong appreciation of money and financial freedom. But those who didn't go through the trauma are better off than both. Then there was the career crisis in my early 30s that prompted me to save 50% of each pay cheque to build a redundancy / retraining fund. if coddling were the wellspring of strength, the generation presently in ownership of the industrialized world would be the physically, emotionally, and intellectually fittest group of persons ever to have lived. When I realized and accepted this and acted accordingly, life got much easier. A tear in the muscle can be identified via sonography and treated with anti-inflammatory agents and rest - a tear in the psyche can neither be objectively determined nor, ultimately, 'corrected'. Really Great. We need to experience enough challenge to overcome our natural tendency towards seeking comfort (but not so much that it overwhelms us). I have often repeated Nietzsche's famous quotation to myself in my head when I've been going through turbulent times. My immediate unconscious reaction was to grab him and lower him down to 100% safety but I saw that the worst that could happen that he would fall a couple of feet so I stayed back and watched things unfold. Liz: In the big pcture, the facts are always our friends. Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. It has been translated into English and quoted in several variations, but is generally used as an affirmation of resilience. What proves your point is siblings. It is an informed judgement call in every situation and it is a fine line which is not clearly defined and can be fluid. Great read! Then he argues that experiencing trauma weakens people. When children are raised in a culture of safetyism, which teaches them to stay “emotionally safe” while protecting them from every imaginable danger, it may set up a feedback loop: kids become more fragile and less resilient, which signals to adults that they need more protection, which then makes them even more fragile and less resilient”. My money blueprint got shaped and from that point onwards, I was an accumulator not a big spender. Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), From the Escape Artist, a great post called “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” – Gentleman's Family Finances, a bad experience with debt early in life; or. because i'm troubled). I’m always interested in hearing stories written by brave survivors. In 1888, Nietzsche wrote “Aus der Kriegsschule des Lebens.—Was mich nicht umbringt, macht mich stärker,” which can be translated as “Out of life’s school of war—what doesn’t kill me, makes me stronger.” It appears in his book of aphorisms, Twilight of the Idols, and no further explanation follows. Blessings The article indicated that the clinical evidence demonstrated higher activity in the amygdala, the emotion storage center of the brain, but did not provide any reason why that alone should be evidence that the person was 'weaker' as a result of this evidence or the cause of it. I count among the people in my life, those who have survived trauma, abuse, homelessness, extreme injury, mental health diagnoses, PTSD, addiction, death of loved ones; some through suicide, divorce, and life challenging conditions. At what point does cutting ones head off not kill them? I agree with those who say your thesis depends on the individual, but I think it also depends on reflection. It affects the 5th cranial nerve, therefore my face is affected. Abeer, thank you for your sentiments. In her case, it arrived in the form of the ending of her marriage and the brain injury of her beloved daughter at the hands of a drunk driver. I appreciate Bryon Katie’s comment, “The only time we suffer is when we believe a thought that argues with what is.” How well we get through our struggles depends on how we approach the issues, which of course includes staying on track with our thoughts. He's not a credible source. I think he is depicting the ideal “triumph over evil” situation.You are SO right. Thus, a 'strength' via trauma. “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” – Friedrich Nietzsche In a therapy session, a client made the oft used statement that he had come to believe was true. You can whack these things with a hammer and they won’t break. In fact, they are worse at it, interpreting many benign situations and expressions as dangerous and hostile. I think we should pay attention more to these special cases and find out how we can (indeed) grow stronger after a bout of pain and suffering. I firmly believe that my parents did their best for both of us and are not responsible for my sister's behavior. The Soldiers I see that are deeply and chronically affected have many other issues including childhood neglect and abuse.

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